Story question about cargo
Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2018 7:59 am
Hi and thanks to everybody who answered my previous and perhaps silly questions!
This story question is about securing cargo but even more about getting it ready to unload. What I'd really like to know, is how can I make the passage I've written more interesting, complex, and informed. My character has anchored temporarily in a bay--in order to glass the surrounding islets and plan his trip back. He then gets the cargo ready to unload before his final approach to the cay where he makes his trade. I wrote:
On the forward deck, Grgic detached from their lashing eyes the lines securing crates of ordnance, and he folded and stowed the tarpaulin. He coiled the lines, cinching each coil with three swift wraps, and he hung them from cleats on the bow. He wove aft and likewise disencumbered the two crates on the rearward deck.
First--does this sound inaccurate? Second--do you have any interesting thoughts that might add a degree of complexity or precision?
This story question is about securing cargo but even more about getting it ready to unload. What I'd really like to know, is how can I make the passage I've written more interesting, complex, and informed. My character has anchored temporarily in a bay--in order to glass the surrounding islets and plan his trip back. He then gets the cargo ready to unload before his final approach to the cay where he makes his trade. I wrote:
On the forward deck, Grgic detached from their lashing eyes the lines securing crates of ordnance, and he folded and stowed the tarpaulin. He coiled the lines, cinching each coil with three swift wraps, and he hung them from cleats on the bow. He wove aft and likewise disencumbered the two crates on the rearward deck.
First--does this sound inaccurate? Second--do you have any interesting thoughts that might add a degree of complexity or precision?